I recently made a tentative attempt to describe a phenomenon that I consider important in my life. For now, I will call this phenomenon ‘feeling connected’.
It is the bubbles I feel in my body when I’m having a conversation with someone I don’t know about something that makes me really enthusiastic.
It is the look you give your best friend when you are both at a party and she is at the other side of the room, but you both know in that moment that you are having fun together.
It is the warmth you feel and share while having a quiet evening at home with your partner, lying on the couch.
It is the moment in which you realize you’re enjoying your friends company while he or she is talking to you.
It is the sharing and relating to someone else’s words when he or she tells me his vision on life and everything.
All these things come down to the same thing: a feeling of being connected to another.
These moments of connection are important to me. I’m a social being and I need people surrounding me, but I also need to feel connected to them in a way. Without it, we may just be strangers living our own lives, not caring.
I think (and please feel free to pin this down more) that this feeling has to do with three things.
– attention
– importance
– the Now
To achieve this connectedness, both parties have to give each other an equal amount of attention. If not, one of them may come across as disinterested or the other’s efforts might feel futile. No connection there.
Both parties should also extract a certain equal amount of importance from the moment. Otherwise the value of the moment differs per person and the feeling of connectedness may not be there.
And, as I’ve heard so many times before, it has to do with being there, now, in the moment. This is the reason why I find it difficult to feel connected just by getting ‘comments’ or ‘likes’ on Facebook (no matter how big a fan of Social Media I am!). Mail is also hard, it seems to take much more effort. Chat, on the other hand, can make me feel connected even at great distances, because it’s instantaneous.
A very big thank you to all those people in my life with whom I share these moments of connection. I enjoy and cherish every one of these moments. I know I have my own quirks, so I realize time and time again how much of a miracle that is. And I am grateful for that!
Later I found this article on raptitude.com about the same thing, but written from a different angle. Take a look!
Yes very much so!
As a little comment; the more you let it be connected the more it deepens. The opening never ends. It is the joy of being.
I agree.
Furthermore… when I “Like” someone’s post on, say, Facebook, it’s not an attempt to “feel connected” as you have defined it, rather it is to say “thank you for sharing a part of your life.”
The feeling of connection is very important. There is another type of connection that is not a feeling, that exists among ideas and thoughts and stories. When I share a part of myself with the world, I like to know that someone’s listening. Why? It’s not that I need them to like it. I think it’s just that I want that thought-connection.
Thank you for sharing your posts with me.