Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for January, 2012

Blind

Talking to a friend of mine I realized I already had a lot of answers in my situation.

And then it struck me. It’s like when you’re moving with a constant speed and you close your eyes, you can’t feel you’re moving forward.

Read Full Post »

We have all these beautiful people surrounding us, yet we insist on solving things by ourselves and being alone.

There’s one word that’s been coming up lately. Trust. And I decided to dedicate not one, but three (yes, three!) blogposts to it. For the other ones, click on these links: Trust that my friends will want to support me, Trust that my friends will want to spend time with me.

Trust that my friends will (want to) help me

I always thought I was a patient person. I always thought I was good at trusting other people to do the tasks that were assigned to them. Turns out I’ve got some more learning to do.

This is where I came from. I was brought up seeing people not wanting to ask for help. I’m so very proud of my mom, who let us do almost all the cooking over Christmas! I’ve been surrounded by people most of my life who solve everything by themselves.

I’ve come to see that asking for help is not something to be ashamed of. (more…)

Read Full Post »

We have all these beautiful people surrounding us, yet we insist on solving things by ourselves and being alone.

There’s one word that’s been coming up lately. Trust. And I decided to dedicate not one, but three (yes, three!) blogposts to it. For the other ones, click on these links: Trust that my friends will (want to) help meTrust that my friends will want to spend time with me.

Trust that my friends will want to support me

I learned this when I read the following sentences in the book I’ve been staying away from for a long time (but am reading it now and am quite enjoying most parts of it); Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, where he says: “Needing” is openly reaching out and asking for support from a man in a trusting manner, one that assumes he will do his best. This empowers him. “Neediness”, however, is desperately needing support because you don’t trust you will get it. It pushes men away and makes them feel rejected and unappreciated.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

We have all these beautiful people surrounding us, yet we insist on solving things by ourselves and being alone.

There’s one word that’s been coming up lately. Trust. And I decided to dedicate not one, but three (yes, three!) blogposts to it. For the other ones, click on these links: Trust that my friends will (want to) help meTrust that my friends will want to support me.

Trust that my friends will want to spend time with me

Now, before I go into this one, let me just say that this following post is mostly in a situation with someone I feel very close to. So no random business contacts, far acquaintances, or friends that I don’t really feel that close to.

I’m never sure whether other people want to spend time with me. Maybe they’re too busy. Maybe they like me, but only in a once-a-year kind of way. Maybe they’re afraid to hurt my feelings when they say no. Maybe they just want to do their own thing. Maybe they just don’t feel like it (which is like, the best excuse ever to not spend time with me!)
People do and say a lot of things for the wrong reason, and I have a hard time trusting other people to just do what THEY want without considering how I feel about it.
“I don’t like you” may hurt (my ego). But “I don’t feel like it” will never hurt me (I will go like: you want to just stay home with a good book and some hot chocolate on the couch? yay for you!).

Consider the following two sentences:
1) “Do you want ice-cream?”
2) “I want ice-cream, you want some too?”

They might look the same to you, but there’s a subtle, yet important difference in these two questions. (more…)

Read Full Post »