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Archive for February, 2011

Be exceptional

Getting ready for bed, the following thought struck me:

People keep wanting to be exceptional because they believe they aren’t.

If they’d believe they truly ARE exceptional, they would not have to want to be exceptional anymore.

I believe everyone is, simply because every one person is unique in his/her combination of talents.

And for now: good night!

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Half a year ago, when I still have a regular job at a company, the dream of visiting my sister who lives at the other side of the ocean was there, but I never acknowledged it, because I ‘only had 20 vacation days’.

It was only after giving up this job, that I realized this was in fact a very silly reason not to go visit her.

Seth Godin in this talk explains this by saying that we all have a lizard brain whose job it is to be afraid when you’re about to do something cool. We chicken out. A chicken only has a lizard brain. Us humans, in addition to the lizard brain (the amygdala) have other parts of our brain that makes us the cool beings we are. And I’m in the learning process of using these parts more and more.

I like this talk. It inspires me to get more done and get less stuck in the things I’m doing.

Go watch it!

http://the99percent.com/videos/5822/Seth-Godin-Quieting-the-Lizard-Brain

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I think I must have been about 16 years old when I saw a girl, a bit younger than me, perform a theater act for a local art-like contest. She was very good. Her act was all about ‘being yourself’. I remember thinking: “I wonder how you do that?”

It was not much later that I heard all these friends of me philosophize about how you should not let yourself be influenced too much by other people. That you should do whatever fits with who you are and that you shouldn’t care too much about what other people would think or say. Again, I was thinking: “I wonder how you know who you are?”. And, I remember not really getting the ‘influences from others is a bad thing’- vibe.

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Chill out!

A desciption of something tiny, yet significant in its insignificantness.

Today I had an invoice in my mailbox. It was about the URL I have been keeping ‘hostage’ for a number of years now. Of course top secret, because it’s going to be my dream company and it’s going to save the world. Some day.

For a number of months, I’ve been meaning to move this URL to be hosted by another party. Main reason: this party is more expensive. A perfectly valid reason.

So. I’ve been writing down this action in my agenda: “Move URL to other hosting party. Date of renewal is 20th of March”. This little note has been written down in December 2010. Then it has been copied to January 15th, 2011 to make sure I paid attention in time. Then, it was moved to somewhere in February and it has been sitting in my Remember the Milk for some time now without a deadline. Somehow, I never got ’round to’ doing it. Truth is, this is one of those thing that annoys me because they keep me from focusing on what I find important at the moment. They’re things with a deadline without priority. If I’m not careful, they’ll clutter up my brain, so I learned to write them down to get them out of my head. Which doesn’t mean I feel like doing them, unfortunately. So I choose to ignore it every time I see it, even though I keep writing it down in case I forget.

Now isn’t that funny? I keep writing it down in case I forget. I don’t forget because I write it down. Then, it DOES get postponed because I keep building in buffer time and I don’t feel like doing it right away (because it’s not in the center of my focus). After that, what happens is, that I don’t do it, because I kept postponing it until it was too late. Something here feels very inefficient…

So. Back to today. I received an invoice in my mail. I freaked out a little bit, reacting like the world would end if I didn’t get this URL moved on time. I started FINALLY sorting out how I can move this thing, and it turns out I exactly have ONE DAY left to arrange this. I freak out even more, because this means having to be stressed about it.

And then I stopped freaking out.

I had a choice. I could stress now, without the guarantee that I would make it in time. Or I could take my loss (which turned out to be less than 10 Euro’s, I CAN spare that) and just leave it be.

So I left it. No stress. No pain. It doesn’t matter. Sometimes, I can be so stupidly silly.

Sometimes you just have to admit you failed. I try not to fail at important things, but if the things I fail at aren’t really that important, then how important is it that I failed?

… and I wrote down in my agenda at the end of December: URL expires 20th of March and has a month’s notice…

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Today I had an appointment to get my company officially registered. The reason why I hadn’t done this earlier is, that I did not have a name for the company yet. If you’re interested, here’s the story of the quest (or hunt) for my company’s name.

Chapter 1: The early days…

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Some of you might sometimes ask this question. It is a question that I ask myself every now and then. And whenever I do, it is very easy to ignore the REAL question that’s in there. I start thinking I want to be a nice person, a person that makes other people happy, a person that is happy with her life etc. etc.  But this is not what it is about.

I think it’s useful to really ponder over every word in this question. Then, you’re asking yourself the correct questions. Just speak the sentence out loud, emphasizing every word as it leaves your lips, and contemplate on them one by one.

Let’s break it down:

Who: This word always relates to a person. Realize you are a person. Then, realize this question is about you as a person.

Do: This word indicates a certain action. Once you’ve scrutinized the question, and maybe even have an answer, you should put that into action! Finding an answer isn’t always the end of the game!

I: This is the hard one. What is this ‘I’? For me, the answer is that this ‘I’ is something unique in the world and worth being there.

Want: Another important one. What do you really WANT? Forget about the should, expect, can’t. What do YOU really WANT?

To: indicates a direction (not in a grammatical way here, though). Life is always going somewhere. The journey is the fun part.

Be: This one might even be the key. Stop thinking. Start being.

So. For me, personally, right now, the answer to this question is as follows: ‘I want to be more of a me.’ What’s yours?

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My fifth entry of my own 10 songs in 10 weeks challenge. Created with not enough time. But there anyway. 🙂

It’s about my times when the world seems unfair and I feel invisible. I have my times. Fortunately, they’re don’t define my life, but I would be fibbing if I would say they’re not part of my emotional scope. This song is a description of how I feel in one of my ‘water-darkened-states’.

Watered out

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