I’m trying out a new trick. I’m going to try to substitute certain emotions with just one, namely surprise.
I was at an event the other day, where you would pay the organizers and contributors based on value-based pricing. Because this is a pretty new phenomenon to most people, there was someone explaining what this was about. He said: “You just pay what you find it worth. But this may seem easier than it is. Some people might worry whether they’re not paying enough, others might worry they’re overpaying. Let’s keep it all simple. There’s no right and wrong here.”
“I don’t get angry. I am surprised every now and then. Every time I give a presentation somewhere, even though I’ve been telling people all these years that I don’t drink any alcohol, they give me a bottle of wine. Then I think: wow, that’s surprising!” His point was that there was no right and wrong in the amount of money you give them. At most, there is surprise.
I really liked this notion. What if every time someone gets mad (probably due to miscommunication), sad, annoyed, frustrated or anything else that might be in the way of a joyful moment in time, that person substitutes this feeling with a feeling of surprise? What would the consequences be?
I think it may help me see things in a lighter way. If I then assume others might also do this, it will help me be brave and make my own mistakes. I sometimes feel that the other person might get mad, find me annoying or that I may have hurt his or her feelings. And this puts me in a whirlpool of thoughts that get me stuck sometimes. If I would assume that the other person will be surprised at most (this also has to do with having faith in the world and yourself), it may be easier for me to deal with these situations.
It may just be a label, but I’m willing to try and see what it may bring me. So by all means, surprise me in whatever way you see fit!
>> What would the consequences be?
That he of she is not really living.
I don’t agree. Or, maybe, I should have nuanced my story a bit. I think by substituting these feelings with surprise, you teach yourself not to feel like your ARE these emotions, but rather, you experience them, without attaching yourself to them. I think substituting them with surprise is a trick to be equanimous about things, which will in turn help you… how to put this… acknowledge that there’s no duality in the world.
In simpler words, I think it will make me happier, without assuming things of others.
Hi, this is your 8 year older self. Buddism says something about this, I think. It’s not getting dragged along with the current… It’s seeing what is happening first before reacting to it. It’s noticing the Shenpa en finding the soft spot before it. That’s what this could get you!